English JOKES by Andrew

Ha, Ha!

Hi, Hi!Ho, Ho!

 My house is so, so, so small that when the sun comes into my house, I have   to  leave.

    
 A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor I've got a problem, I've got two
 personalities.'
The doctor answers: 'Be quiet, sit down and let's talk all four of us.'

A SCOTISH PRAYER

 Heavently Father, bless us,            

                              

 and keep us all alives:                                       

 there are eight of us for dinner,

 and there is only enough for five!

 Teacher: Mary, have you read "Freckles"?     

  Mary: No, mine are brown

An epigram: Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in yourliving room by people you wouldn't have in your home

     - What's the definition of mixed emotions?
     - Seeing your mother- in-law driving your new car off the edge of a cliff


 A big moron and a little moron were standing on a bridge. The big moron fell off.

        How come the litle moron didn't?
        - He was a little more on (moron)


What happens in the Africa jungle from 6 a.m to 8 a.m every day, even on  Sundays? 

               

                                             Two hours

 I can turn you into a Red Indian

 -  How?
 - See? I told you! How!





When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour,  the Englishman was a bit dismayed.



 - " Good heavens," he said, " what is this?
 -  "Why, it's bean soup," she replied
 - " I don't care what it has been, " he sputtered. " What is it now?